“Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”
– Megan Devine, It’s OK That You’re Not OK

Grief doesn’t follow a neat timeline. It doesn’t obey logic. And it doesn’t care if you have things to do today. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a dream, or a past version of yourself – the pain can be confusing and disorienting.

You might feel okay one day, and utterly overwhelmed the next. You might wonder, “Why am I still feeling this way?” or “What’s wrong with me?”

The answer is: nothing. You’re grieving. And it’s okay not to be okay.

When We Don’t Give Ourselves Permission to Grieve

One of the hardest parts of grief isn’t the pain itself – it’s how we treat ourselves in the pain.

When my beloved grandmother passed away, I told myself I needed to be strong. That if I really loved her, I should honour her memory with gratitude and peace – not sadness. So I tucked my grief away and smiled through the loss.

It wasn’t until years later that I realized: not letting myself mourn didn’t honour her – it distanced me from my own heart. Only when I gave myself permission to feel the sorrow did something begin to soften.

This is something I now see often in the people I work with – a quiet pressure to hold it together, to make sense of the loss, or to “move on” quickly. But grief doesn’t respond to logic. It responds to love. And love doesn’t end when someone is gone.

What Real Grief Looks Like

Despite what we’re taught, grief:

• Isn’t linear
• Doesn’t have a deadline
• Can show up months or even years later
• Often includes anger, confusion, numbness, and guilt

And while time can soften grief, it doesn’t erase it. Especially when we haven’t had the space or support to fully feel it.

How to Support Yourself in Grief

Here are a few gentle truths that can help if you’re grieving:

• There’s no right way to grieve. Your experience is valid, even if it looks different from others’.
• You don’t need to be strong. You need to be real, and that often means being vulnerable.
• Grief isn’t something to fix. It’s something to tend to. To carry with care.
• Support helps. Whether through a therapist, a support group, or a safe friend – being witnessed matters.

Seeking Support for Grief

At Terra Counselling, we offer compassionate, trauma-informed therapy for grief and loss. Whether your pain is fresh or has been quietly carried for years, we’re here to walk beside you – at your pace, without pressure.

Reach out today if you’re ready to explore your grief with gentleness and support.

Whether you’re navigating trauma, anxiety, relationship challenges, grief, shame, or psychedelic integration, we offer:

• Individual Counselling
• Relationship Counselling
• Psychedelic Integration Support

You don’t have to go through this alone.
Contact us today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward a more fulfilling and connected life.