This is a poem a good friend of mine wrote. We talked about the part of me that carries my fears and how it’s actually courageous and strong. He takes on this incredible burden so the system can survive and function. And instead of blaming and trying to get rid of him, I have to recognize and acknowledge his efforts. By developing appreciation and gratitude for all he has had to do, I can lighten the burden, redirect this energy or even give him a rest; if he wants, he definitely deserves it.
The Inner Fear Man
This man inside, I thought so weak
I shamed him along so as not to speak
He carried inside me, years of alarm
And kept it inside, to keep me from harm.
I laughed and scolded, that man of self
Never thinking that he could be any help
I directed his silence; my life turned to stone
I didn’t venture out, I stayed all alone
In a world full of people, my pride I would tout
Not allowing the “fear-man” to ever come out
Or speak or whimper or perhaps call my name
I thought kept inside, he’d just carry the blame
And not tell anyone of the doubts inside
He’d just pick them up and continue to hide
So small and weak, he couldn’t break through
I didn’t want to look, if I knew what he knew
Turns out he really didn’t know much
But between the layers and seams and such,
I found a part I didn’t know to exist
It’s taken a while, but I’ll tell you this
The One inside who’s carried these fears
From early childhood till these golden years…
Is quite strong and able to share strength with me
But my being willing is the “truth-centered” key
To use compassion and see the role he has played
I’ve been quite humbled and not dismayed
The power and strength given to this man
By my very own Creator, who’s had a plan
I’d gotten in the way by thinking him small
And weak and worthless, which he’s not at all
This “Inner Fear Man” has helped me survive
To enrich and inform and just be my guide
He’s alert to watch; wants to speak his truth
If given the chance and not told to mute
Or stuff and hide—I’ll let him come out
And show me the fears he’s carried about
Since I was a child, and now I am grown
The fears are much smaller than I’d ever known
So with gentleness, compassion, I’ll give him my hand;
Without him, Courage would have no place to stand.
By Karen Ragan, TN; Copyright December, 18 2020.
Photo: Lisa Fotios on Pexels.